Beyond Bubble Baths: Nervous System-Friendly Self-Care That Actually Heals

If your version of self-care still leaves you feeling drained, it’s not you; it’s the myth of ‘treat yourself’ culture.

Many people have an illusion of what self-care is. This misunderstanding can prevent true rest and recharge, increasing the risk of burnout. There are 3 illusions of self-care that I find many people engage in. Even though these feel amazing in the moment, they don’t help in the long run.  These illusions are the "Quick Fix" Consumption Trap, the Avoidance & Numbing Habits, and the "Productivity-Masked" Practices. Here are a few examples of each:

The "Quick Fix" Consumption Trap

• Retail therapy- Using shopping as a temporary emotional boost substitutes a financial solution for an emotional problem and can lead to debt and/or guilt later.

• Comfort eating- Over-indulging in your favorite food/drinks in the name of de-stressing can lead to physical sluggishness and mental guilt, worsening the cycle you are so desperately wanting out of.

• Luxury-Only Self-Care- Believing that expensive things like massages, retreats, or fancy products limit self-care, making it inaccessible and unsustainable for daily use.

  
  

The Avoidance & Numbing Habits

• Mindless Binge-Watching/Scrolling- Zoning out for hours on end, using passive entertainment to numb stress instead of processing it, and it can disrupt sleep, which is the opposite of what self-care is intended for.

• Oversleeping (Out of Schedule)- Sleeping in excessively or taking hour-long naps mid-day to "catch up” can become a form of prolonged escape, and it throws off your body's rhythm, becoming more of a problem instead of it being a solution.

• Chronic Social Isolation- Being alone sometimes is important, but completely withdrawing from healthy social connections can compound feelings of depression and loneliness.

  
  

“Productivity- Masked” Practices

• The 'No Days Off' Fitness Mentality- Pushing through extreme exhaustion to maintain an aggressive exercise routine turns a healthy habit into a punishing obligation…and the body NEEDS actual rest and recovery.

• Forcing a Rigid Morning Routine- Adopting a complicated, hour-long routine that you say some influencer or famous person does (e.g., wake at 5 AM, cold plunge) when it doesn't align with your natural rhythm will only add stress and guilt when you inevitably fail to maintain it.

• "Toxic Positivity" Self-Care- Using affirmations or happy activities to immediately suppress negative feelings isn’t helpful either. True self-care involves processing difficult emotions, not just covering them up.

  
  

Do any of these sound familiar to you? If so, it’s okay! I got you! But before I give you the low-down on self-care activities that really help, let me tell you a bit about the nervous system and how I define self-care.

Firstly, your nervous system is like your body’s internal messaging system. It tells your heart to beat, your lungs to breathe, and your muscles how to move. It also monitors for danger, helps you respond to stress, and signals when you’re safe, relaxed, or need to take action. As Dr. Abi Blankslee explained in a recent training on Somatic Trauma Therapy, “what comes up, must come down”.

However, when your nervous system is stuck in activation mode, your body thinks it’s in danger even when it’s not. Your heart races, muscles tighten, and your mind can feel scattered or overwhelmed. That’s why it’s so important to intentionally activate your parasympathetic nervous system, your body’s “rest and digest” mode. Self-care activities like I will be sharing can help signal safety to your nervous system, release stored tension, and restore balance.

Now, what is self-care if it isn’t the things I listed above, things we all have done a time or two, thinking it was helping us relax and regulate our nervous system? Self-care is the practice of looking after your own health using the knowledge and information available to you. Doing things to care for yourself to achieve balance in different areas of your life to promote your overall wellness.

Here are 10 self-care activities that you can start today that will help calm your nervous system in a way that really helps:

1. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This practice involves slowly tensing and then releasing different muscle groups in your body. It helps you notice areas of tension and signals your nervous system that it’s safe to relax. Even a few minutes can leave you feeling calmer and more present.

2. Deep Diaphragmatic Breathing

Focus on slow, deep breaths that expand your belly instead of your chest. This type of breathing engages the parasympathetic nervous system, helping to reduce stress and promote calm. You can do it anywhere…at your desk, in bed, or during a walk.

3. Walking in Nature

A simple walk outside can do wonders for your nervous system. Being in nature helps lower stress hormones, encourages deep breathing, and grounds you in the present moment. Even 10–15 minutes can make a difference.

4. Mindfulness Vagus Exercise

This practice helps you engage your body’s social engagement system by gently bringing attention to key areas: the eyes, ears, mouth and jaw, throat, heart, lungs, diaphragm, and abdomen. You can lightly massage or simply place your hands on these areas while noticing sensations and breathing deeply. This activates the vagus nerve, helping your nervous system feel safe, supported, and calm.

5. Connecting with Supportive People

Spending time with friends, family, or a supportive community can help your nervous system feel safe. Meaningful connection reduces feelings of isolation and promotes calm and resilience. Even a short phone call or text check-in can help.

6. Lying on the Floor with Legs Up Against the Wall (Legs-Up-the-Wall Pose)

This gentle inversion helps release tension from the lower back and legs. It encourages deep breathing and signals your nervous system to slow down. You can stay in the pose for a few minutes while focusing on your breath.

7. Enjoying Creative Outlets (Painting, Knitting, Journaling)

Engaging in creative activities helps your nervous system relax while also expressing emotions safely. These activities can shift your focus away from stress and provide a sense of accomplishment. Even small creative sessions count.

8. Taking a Tech or Social Media Break

Stepping away from screens gives your nervous system a chance to reset. Constant notifications and scrolling can heighten stress, so short breaks can improve focus and calm. Try a 15–30 minute “tech pause” daily.

9. Smiling at Yourself in the Mirror

Smiling, even intentionally, activates the vagus nerve, which helps signal safety and relaxation to your body. It may feel awkward at first, but just a few smiles a day can boost your mood and nervous system regulation.

10. Swaying or Gentle Rocking

Slow, rhythmic movement like swaying or rocking sends calming signals to the brain. It can reduce hyperarousal and help you feel grounded. You can do this standing, sitting, or lying down, whatever feels comfortable.

Your nervous system deserves care, attention, and moments of deep relaxation. These self-care practices are simple ways to listen to your body, release tension, and create space for calm amidst life’s stressors.

If you’re ready to practice some self-care, I invite you to attend my upcoming sound bath on March 22 at 3pm in Asbury Park, NJ. Sound healing is designed to help you release stored stress, reconnect with your body, and experience profound relaxation through the healing power of sound.

Reserve your spot today and give yourself the gift of a calmer, more balanced nervous system…you deserve it!

Click Here to Register

Irena Moore is an LPC, LCADC, ACS, CCTP in New Jersey. She is the owner of Moore Healing & Empowerment LLC, offering telehealth therapy sessions in the entire state of New Jersey. She specializes in treating anxiety, grief & loss, stress, and trauma in adults. For more information about her, make sure to visit her website www.mhellc.com