4 Simple Ways to Practice Self-Love

So then why do we tend to be so hard on ourselves? Judge, condemn, and criticize our every thought, feeling, and behavior? I have facilitated countless groups and workshops over my 12+ years working in the field of counseling, and getting others to buy in and regularly practice self-love is one of the hardest things for people to do. Myself included!

I like to define self-love as making the conscious choice to choose yourself over and over again. It means honoring your thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, and desires. It means not abandoning yourself. It means taking up space, using your voice, and embracing the person you are today, tomorrow, and the day after that, as you are constantly changing, growing, and evolving, and you deserve love, understanding, and compassion at each one of those stages. So here are a few tips/tricks to set you on the path of self-love.

One of my favorite mottos for the past few years as I have been on this journey towards self-love is ‘do more of what makes you happy’. Prioritize your wants and needs. Prioritize YOU! If you enjoy baking, bake. If you like listening to crime podcasts, listen to ’em. If watching reruns of the TV show Supernatural gives you all the feels (yes, this one is mine, guilty as charged and proud of it), then do it! Make an active choice to do the thing(s) that fill you with joy because that is an awesome first step in practicing self-love.

Secondly, practice self-forgiveness. If you make a mistake, be compassionate with yourself about it. If you made a mistake and no one is dying as a result, I truly think you are okay. Release the judgment and any criticism you may have. Try being curious about the mistake if being compassionate is too hard at first.

This leads me to the third way to practice self-love, which is to practice self-compassion. You might ask, “Well, isn’t that the same thing as self-love?” And I would say there is a difference. Self-compassion is all about celebrating and enjoying yourself when life is going well, as well as being kind and forgiving toward yourself when life is hard. Be more loving, accepting, and appreciative of yourself for being exactly who you are without question. And lastly, recognize that no matter what is happening in your life, you are lovable and have permission to feel joy. That, my dear, is what self-compassion is.

Fourth and the last tip/trick…set and maintain boundaries. Say no when you want to say no because no is a complete sentence! Boundaries are all about safety and comfort. If you want and need something, say so to limit violations from occurring. You can’t make other people do things, but if they decide to not respect and/or adhere to your ask, it is now up to you how to engage moving forward. Here’s an example: “I would like it if, moving forward, you only call me after 930pm if there is a life-threatening emergency. I really need to get my sleep, as I have been really lethargic and not feeling like myself lately. If you call after that time and it isn’t an emergency, I will have to end the call. I will reach out to you the next day, but I won’t be able to stay on the phone with you”. You make a request, and the boundary is what you will do if the request isn’t met. Got it?!

So do you think you can try one, if not all of these things? Are you ready to join me on this journey?